Monday, December 27, 2010
Choice
I found my strength
I chose to fight
I said no more
I am not a victim
My life is in my hands
I draw strength from pain
I am damaged goods
Like a wounded dove
I could not fly
The wings not only broken
But ripped out
By my tortured soul
The wings grew back
They’re beautiful and strong
I can spread my wings
I can again fly
But one nightmare
A frightening memory
Like a bullet
Shoots me back down
I again must heal
I fight a losing battle
But I still choose to fight
© Pamela N. Brown
I chose to fight
I said no more
I am not a victim
My life is in my hands
I draw strength from pain
I am damaged goods
Like a wounded dove
I could not fly
The wings not only broken
But ripped out
By my tortured soul
The wings grew back
They’re beautiful and strong
I can spread my wings
I can again fly
But one nightmare
A frightening memory
Like a bullet
Shoots me back down
I again must heal
I fight a losing battle
But I still choose to fight
© Pamela N. Brown
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Alive
I feel so alive
When in the pool I must dive....
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........................until I realize.........................
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it is dry!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
I Wonder
I wonder
Do you
© Pamela N. Brown
Sleep under the same
Do youBlue sky as me?
Dream of the same
Do youBright stars that I see?
Swim in the same
Do youSparkling cool stream?
Bathe in the same
Do youMelodic whistles of the tree?
Read of the same
Do youTragic world history?
Cuddle the same
Or do youWith babies as they scream?
See life as only
You want it to be?
Friday, December 24, 2010
Zombie Night Christmas
by Clement Clarke Moore
or Henry Livingston
and Pamela N. Brown
'Twas the night before Christmas, when outside of my door
A Large creature was howling for brains and for more;
The boards were hung on the windows with care,
In hopes that a zombie would not come there;
The children were hiding all snug in their threads,
While visions of nightmares flashed through their heads;
And mamma in her overalls, and I in my cap,
Had just hunkered down for some rest and a nap,
When out on the porch there arose such a clatter,
I sprang off my butt and saw a blood splatter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Peaked through the wooden slits and saw her head smash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of crimson to a fresh murdered ho,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature wagon, and a cooler of beer,
With a little old drunkard, so wobbly but quick,
I knew in a moment it must be old Dick.
More rapid than draggers his doggies they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Killer! Now, Thriller! Now, Princess and Dylan!
On, Precious! On Gizmo! On, Cookie! Quit Chillin'!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now bark away! Bark away! Bark away all!"
As the stench that before the wild gathering flies,
When they meet with a human, some missing their eyes,
So up to the deck top the puppies they flew,
With the wagon of liquor, and slobberin' Dick too.
And then, in an instant, I heard on the door
The clawing and pawing of the reanimated whore.
As I drew back my head, and was spinning around,
With my Uzi and Ruger, I aimed at a hound.
He was covered in fur, and mange on his foot,
And his fur was all matted with blood and some soot;
A bundle of muscle dangled from his back,
And he looked like a demon calling for his pack.
His eyes – how they dribbled! He was quite scary!
His cheeks were ripped open, and red like a cherry!
His large drooling mouth was drawn back like a bow,
And the bones underneath shone as white as the snow;
The stump of an arm he held tight in his teeth,
And maggots encircled an eye socket like a wreath;
He had a ripped face and a distended round belly,
That popped when I pulled my trigger; 'twas quite smelly.
He was splattered to bits, and I cried to myself,
As chunks fell in my drink that lay on the shelf.
I glanced out the window and saw Dick was undead
His travel a memory buried deep in his head.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And stumbled and shivered; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger inside of his nose,
And found brain tissue; how disgusting and gross.
He sprang to his wagon, to his dogs gave a whistle,
And away they clambered like the down of a thistle.
I swore he exclaimed, as he dragged out of sight,
"I may have your brains for my dinner tonight."
or Henry Livingston
and Pamela N. Brown
'Twas the night before Christmas, when outside of my door
A Large creature was howling for brains and for more;
The boards were hung on the windows with care,
In hopes that a zombie would not come there;
The children were hiding all snug in their threads,
While visions of nightmares flashed through their heads;
And mamma in her overalls, and I in my cap,
Had just hunkered down for some rest and a nap,
When out on the porch there arose such a clatter,
I sprang off my butt and saw a blood splatter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Peaked through the wooden slits and saw her head smash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of crimson to a fresh murdered ho,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature wagon, and a cooler of beer,
With a little old drunkard, so wobbly but quick,
I knew in a moment it must be old Dick.
More rapid than draggers his doggies they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Killer! Now, Thriller! Now, Princess and Dylan!
On, Precious! On Gizmo! On, Cookie! Quit Chillin'!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now bark away! Bark away! Bark away all!"
As the stench that before the wild gathering flies,
When they meet with a human, some missing their eyes,
So up to the deck top the puppies they flew,
With the wagon of liquor, and slobberin' Dick too.
And then, in an instant, I heard on the door
The clawing and pawing of the reanimated whore.
As I drew back my head, and was spinning around,
With my Uzi and Ruger, I aimed at a hound.
He was covered in fur, and mange on his foot,
And his fur was all matted with blood and some soot;
A bundle of muscle dangled from his back,
And he looked like a demon calling for his pack.
His eyes – how they dribbled! He was quite scary!
His cheeks were ripped open, and red like a cherry!
His large drooling mouth was drawn back like a bow,
And the bones underneath shone as white as the snow;
The stump of an arm he held tight in his teeth,
And maggots encircled an eye socket like a wreath;
He had a ripped face and a distended round belly,
That popped when I pulled my trigger; 'twas quite smelly.
He was splattered to bits, and I cried to myself,
As chunks fell in my drink that lay on the shelf.
I glanced out the window and saw Dick was undead
His travel a memory buried deep in his head.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And stumbled and shivered; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger inside of his nose,
And found brain tissue; how disgusting and gross.
He sprang to his wagon, to his dogs gave a whistle,
And away they clambered like the down of a thistle.
I swore he exclaimed, as he dragged out of sight,
"I may have your brains for my dinner tonight."
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Bliss
bodies intertwined
pulsating
rhythmically
Bliss!
breaths in unison
arms enclosed
beads of sweat
under fingertips
flexing muscles
chills crawl
up two spines
down arms
legs
fingers
toes
kisses dance
like poison
upon lips
eyes fixed
in a trance
letting go
Bliss!
stop any worry
stress let go
in unison
putting aside
all else
alone
one body
world washed away
solitude
one mind
connected
peaceful
one soul
desires fulfilled
in unison
Bliss!
©Pamela N. Brown
October 11, 2009
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Morning
The queen-sized bed holds a warm heavy body twisted around black sheets, blankets, and pillows. A brain contemplates, “Do I wake? Do I rouse myself from my slumber?” The tight curls of hair are piled atop a head. Each spring tousled in it’s own direction. Eyes water from the bright light burning above the bed. The faint garbled words of a woman on the television recount the previous day’s events. A dog curls himself in a tiny black ball on a red satin bedspread. The repetitive hum of the ceiling fan blocks out sounds on the other side of the window. The long polished blade of a sword affixed to the wall flashes brightly reflecting the day’s light interrupted by the rotating blades of a fan.
Rise! The choice has been made to rise and face the new day. Feet shuffle across old matted brown carpet of the floor and cross the threshold of a bathroom door. The cool linoleum sends shivers up a twisted spine. A black fuzzy bathmat hangs on an aluminum shower rod. The soft mat is quickly grabbed and carelessly spread out on the floor. The knobs of the shower are turned to the left, first hot, then overhead, and finally cold. The clear and black curtains are yanked back from the wall.
A body clambers into the cool air behind the curtain and moves into the warm mist of water. The water spills down bare skin. A head is thrown back, and water is allowed to drench tight curls. The weight of the water pulls at each tendril until they all lie perfectly straight below the nape of a neck. A hand is filled with opalescent shampoo. As hands work the substance through a thick mane to scrub a scalp, the suds build upon the now black locks.
The pink plastic poof is lathered with sweet smelling soap. From top to bottom, hands scrub the previous night away. The soft white foam hides the pink skin beneath. Legs back the scrubbed body under the warm spray. Water chases the suds downward. They slide down a back, a round rear, and down the backs of bare thighs, knees, calves, ankles, and heals. The body slowly spins around and allows the clear liquid to rinse the sleep from eyes and chase the remaining lather toward the tub. The suds pause at the up curves of breasts, and slide beneath the ample mounds. Water pools in a navel as a torso is tilted back, and fingers turn the colorful Nubian ring around drawing clean water through the pierced skin. The suds glide further down, down the fronts of thighs, knees, calves, feet, and toes.
The knobs twist back to the right, and the water ceases. The drain gurgles as it siphons the water to its new home. The milky white water swirls and spins until it is no longer seen. A soft pink striped bath towel brushes lightly across a face absorbing the traces of water left behind. A body bends forward tossing the tresses before it, and the locks dangle above the floor. Dripping hair is covered with the pink towel, twisted tightly within, and piled upon a head. A faded terrycloth robe is removed from the hook on the door, and sleeves are pulled over goose pimpled arms. The dry robe sucks the remaining water from drenched skin. Today is going to be a good day.
Rise! The choice has been made to rise and face the new day. Feet shuffle across old matted brown carpet of the floor and cross the threshold of a bathroom door. The cool linoleum sends shivers up a twisted spine. A black fuzzy bathmat hangs on an aluminum shower rod. The soft mat is quickly grabbed and carelessly spread out on the floor. The knobs of the shower are turned to the left, first hot, then overhead, and finally cold. The clear and black curtains are yanked back from the wall.
A body clambers into the cool air behind the curtain and moves into the warm mist of water. The water spills down bare skin. A head is thrown back, and water is allowed to drench tight curls. The weight of the water pulls at each tendril until they all lie perfectly straight below the nape of a neck. A hand is filled with opalescent shampoo. As hands work the substance through a thick mane to scrub a scalp, the suds build upon the now black locks.
The pink plastic poof is lathered with sweet smelling soap. From top to bottom, hands scrub the previous night away. The soft white foam hides the pink skin beneath. Legs back the scrubbed body under the warm spray. Water chases the suds downward. They slide down a back, a round rear, and down the backs of bare thighs, knees, calves, ankles, and heals. The body slowly spins around and allows the clear liquid to rinse the sleep from eyes and chase the remaining lather toward the tub. The suds pause at the up curves of breasts, and slide beneath the ample mounds. Water pools in a navel as a torso is tilted back, and fingers turn the colorful Nubian ring around drawing clean water through the pierced skin. The suds glide further down, down the fronts of thighs, knees, calves, feet, and toes.
The knobs twist back to the right, and the water ceases. The drain gurgles as it siphons the water to its new home. The milky white water swirls and spins until it is no longer seen. A soft pink striped bath towel brushes lightly across a face absorbing the traces of water left behind. A body bends forward tossing the tresses before it, and the locks dangle above the floor. Dripping hair is covered with the pink towel, twisted tightly within, and piled upon a head. A faded terrycloth robe is removed from the hook on the door, and sleeves are pulled over goose pimpled arms. The dry robe sucks the remaining water from drenched skin. Today is going to be a good day.
The Sky Grows Grey
without the sun
a flower withers and dies
tortured and torn
on the ground it lies
broken by zephyrs
scattered upon the breeze
tossed among
decomposing leaves
far below
darkening cold skies
celestial bodies
glint as they pass by
anticipating
new birth on a new day
but for now
the sky grows cold and grey
the sky grows cold and grey
©Pamela N. Brown
October 11, 2009
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Windows
A window opens
To a child
A chance she did not take
The window slams
Sealed so tight
Leaving a heart to break
A young scared girl
She once was
Hiding in her mind
Imagining how things
Could have been
Scared of what she could find
A long cold night
And she stayed warm
Alone in her bed
No one there
To hold her tight
Who knows the life she's led
No longer a child
She has grown
To a woman filled with fear
'Til she meets
Her gallant knight
His love she holds dear
A sleepless night
And she must stand
To see another day
A helpless child
She once was
Long ago and far away
A saddening dream
And she must wake
So other's can see
A hard lived life
That she once led
But now she is free
© Pamela N. Brown
Monday, December 20, 2010
To My Dearest Dylan
The sun cannot shine without our smile
And my love for you goes on, mile after mile
And the angels did sing when you were born
When you do grow up, my heart will be torn
Your love lifts me up toward the skies
And the stars sparkle brightly within your eyes
Your hugs are the warmest love embrace
I love to look upon your beautiful face
Your sweet laughter rings through my motherly ears
I will always be here to dry all your tears
So keep me always inside your heart
For you are my sweet, darling, little fart
I love you,
Momma
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Frogs
Oh to be a frog,
Jumping from here to there,
To sing in the lingering light.
To dance upon the pond,
So cool and inviting.
Waiting for the rain
In a dried creek-bed
Late at night.
It must be pleasant
To be able to bury oneself,
Deep within the earth
Until the next rain comes.
I envy the ability
To protect oneself
From the harsh, hot temper
Of the life giver.
To be able to hide from
The noxious poisons given off
By mankind
Is unique and coveted.
But the frog, he can.
He can swim beyond raging waters.
He can hide in the cool comforting soil.
He can be embraced by mother earth.
And feel all the nuturing,
Protecting love a mother can give.
His skin so freckled and smooth,
And he is loved for it.
A frog is a miraculous creature
Grown from strength.
For he is a survivor,
Born into a harsh world,
With the ability to evade
The temper of mother earth.
From conception to a long lived life,
He must overcome many obstacles,
And yet, he still survives.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Deception
She cries
Yet salty tears unreal
She lies
Yet words believable
She steals
Yet claims for a warm meal
She cuts
Yet says it’s to feel
She hides
Beneath a pristine veil
She hates
Which deadens love they feel
She guides
Those who not know her well
She clings
To thoughts of her own hell
She stabs
Needles beneath cold skin
She bleeds
Life upon the hard ground
She smirks
Hidden by downturned grin
She dies
To the evil within.
©Pamela N. Brown
September 13, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Someone Noticed Me
Someone noticed me today
It stopped me on my track
Off my straight path I did stray
Too late to now go back
No longer mine is my life
Two children it belongs
I live also as a wife
Three men for me are strong
For me I do educate
My wearily tired mind
Heavy books and up real late
The answers I will find
My life moves so very fast
Before it moved too slow
Proud was I in recent past
But fully now I grow
Someone noticed me today
For now, I too am strong
Pamela N. Brown
February 28, 2005
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Grow
The smell of incense fills the room.
Just as the tears fill my eyes.
Tears of confusion pain and regret.
Tears of yesterdays not forgotten
And tomorrows not yet seen
The feeling of entrapment,
Consumes my very soul
Oh, to be free, to be loved,
Lost loves cause a lack of trust
No yesterday has been without pain
Freedom is a word lost within these ears
Trapped by unselfishness
Could someone come to save me?
Come to save my soul
From the pains of memories lost long ago
Memories of violence poisons my heart
The contempt builds day after day
Causing hate
Never before has hate brushed my mind
Hate such a strong word with strong meaning
Hate of my mother, my father, my lost lovers
Hate of all that continue to hide the truth
But, dare I hate?
Dare I forgive?
I feel it is not in me to forgive
I want to forgive
I cannot forget
They cannot remember
How am I to find divinity, serenity, happiness
'Til I learn to forgive?
My children and my love are all that hold me together
The souls of innocence
Poisoned everyday by all of the negativity
Negativity that surrounds them
If I hate, do I teach them to hate?
They do not suspect I hate
A dream has come to me
A dream of peace, of love
Of a smile across a worn face, my face
To be free
Free to love, free to touch, to smile
To go where I please
To live in happiness, bliss
Bliss, a dream?
To remember the hope in a young heart
To remember tomorrow can be better
To remember what I know to be right
Do I control my destiny?
Do I have the strength?
©Pamela N. Brown
Just as the tears fill my eyes.
Tears of confusion pain and regret.
Tears of yesterdays not forgotten
And tomorrows not yet seen
The feeling of entrapment,
Consumes my very soul
Oh, to be free, to be loved,
Lost loves cause a lack of trust
No yesterday has been without pain
Freedom is a word lost within these ears
Trapped by unselfishness
Could someone come to save me?
Come to save my soul
From the pains of memories lost long ago
Memories of violence poisons my heart
The contempt builds day after day
Causing hate
Never before has hate brushed my mind
Hate such a strong word with strong meaning
Hate of my mother, my father, my lost lovers
Hate of all that continue to hide the truth
But, dare I hate?
Dare I forgive?
I feel it is not in me to forgive
I want to forgive
I cannot forget
They cannot remember
How am I to find divinity, serenity, happiness
'Til I learn to forgive?
My children and my love are all that hold me together
The souls of innocence
Poisoned everyday by all of the negativity
Negativity that surrounds them
If I hate, do I teach them to hate?
They do not suspect I hate
A dream has come to me
A dream of peace, of love
Of a smile across a worn face, my face
To be free
Free to love, free to touch, to smile
To go where I please
To live in happiness, bliss
Bliss, a dream?
To remember the hope in a young heart
To remember tomorrow can be better
To remember what I know to be right
Do I control my destiny?
Do I have the strength?
©Pamela N. Brown
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Who Are You
Who are you?
Staring in the mirror back at me?
Not the beauty queen
you used to be!
Not the young mother
of a newborn child
nor the young girl
so free and wild!
But a woman trapped
in aging skin
and a proud momma
of two young men.
With love and beauty
now hard to see
but it lies…
deep inside of me!
With a free spirit
that dwells within…
…and a free spirit
that lurks deep within!
©Pamela N. Brown
September 25, 2009
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Christmas
The carolers sing
So very beautifully
But that doesn't really
Matter much to me
The lights on the Christmas tree
Sparkle so brilliantly
But that doesn't really
Matter much to me
The lights on the house
Shine for everyone to see
But that doesn't really
Matter much to me
The gifts are wrapped
That you will give to me
But all that really matters
Is you are here with me
© Pamela N. Brown
So very beautifully
But that doesn't really
Matter much to me
The lights on the Christmas tree
Sparkle so brilliantly
But that doesn't really
Matter much to me
The lights on the house
Shine for everyone to see
But that doesn't really
Matter much to me
The gifts are wrapped
That you will give to me
But all that really matters
Is you are here with me
© Pamela N. Brown
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Waves
Ocean waves
swaying
soothing
moving
across a sultry form
Tensions rise
blushing
glowing
basking
in a blackened shadow
Pulses rush
pushing
pounding
drowning
out the surrounding world
Water falls
dripping
cooling
pooling
upon the steamy flesh
Zephyrs flow
gliding
seeping
surging
across heightened senses
Forest streams
gushing
surging
jetting
throughout disheveled wilds
Collapsed Walls
ebbing
fading
drifting
into a sweet dream world
©Pamela N. Brown
August 22, 2010
swaying
soothing
moving
across a sultry form
Tensions rise
blushing
glowing
basking
in a blackened shadow
Pulses rush
pushing
pounding
drowning
out the surrounding world
Water falls
dripping
cooling
pooling
upon the steamy flesh
Zephyrs flow
gliding
seeping
surging
across heightened senses
Forest streams
gushing
surging
jetting
throughout disheveled wilds
Collapsed Walls
ebbing
fading
drifting
into a sweet dream world
©Pamela N. Brown
August 22, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
The Sacrifice
From tightly closed eyes
Teardrops fall to the ground
No more hiding now
She thought she'd never be found
A heart dies tonight
You know not what you do
A love that is pure is taken
Right in front of you
Blackness fills the air
Hearts race, blood pumps
There's blood every where
The demon crawls upon her
Moans are heard
Her screams excite you
Chills run up your spine
Lightning cracks above
The ground opens below
Angels fall to the ground
Earth becomes hell
The fear sets inside your
Her eyes turn to blood
Her body trembles
She screams for her god
His back is turned
His ears deaf
His eyes closed
Your excitement takes over
You open your eyes
You see her beneath you
You feel no remorse
The smile spreads across your face
Her heart turns black
Her eyes grow cold
She is his now
Your work is done
©Pamela N. Brown
Teardrops fall to the ground
No more hiding now
She thought she'd never be found
A heart dies tonight
You know not what you do
A love that is pure is taken
Right in front of you
Blackness fills the air
Hearts race, blood pumps
There's blood every where
The demon crawls upon her
Moans are heard
Her screams excite you
Chills run up your spine
Lightning cracks above
The ground opens below
Angels fall to the ground
Earth becomes hell
The fear sets inside your
Her eyes turn to blood
Her body trembles
She screams for her god
His back is turned
His ears deaf
His eyes closed
Your excitement takes over
You open your eyes
You see her beneath you
You feel no remorse
The smile spreads across your face
Her heart turns black
Her eyes grow cold
She is his now
Your work is done
©Pamela N. Brown
When We Were Young
When we were young, we stayed together
We slept all day and stayed up late
I knew it could be forever
We even kissed on the first date.
Mom and Dad were always mad
They told me it was no good
But that WAS Mom and Dad
They were always in that very mood.
I remember when we were young
I felt it deep down in my heart
I always had so much fun
I just knew we would never part.
I felt that way for so long
Now I know, I was wrong.
We slept all day and stayed up late
I knew it could be forever
We even kissed on the first date.
Mom and Dad were always mad
They told me it was no good
But that WAS Mom and Dad
They were always in that very mood.
I remember when we were young
I felt it deep down in my heart
I always had so much fun
I just knew we would never part.
I felt that way for so long
Now I know, I was wrong.
Tribute
The grand oak tree is dressed
in greens
gold
oranges
catches a north blue strong breeze
dancing
swaying
singing.
She sits upon a bed of grass
patches of brown
peeking through
rich with golds
and greens
sparkling
shimmering
glistening.
Frost snips the tips of the blades
giving in
to a warm inviting sun
bright
orange
yellow
glittering
reflecting.
The enormous brown trunk of the tree
with roots
like hands
or feet
that reach deep beneath the earth
unbending
unmoving.
Encircled around the large round base
children of browns
whites
reds
yellows
stand together hand-in-hand
dancing
swaying
singing.
©Pamela N. Brown
in greens
gold
oranges
catches a north blue strong breeze
dancing
swaying
singing.
She sits upon a bed of grass
patches of brown
peeking through
rich with golds
and greens
sparkling
shimmering
glistening.
Frost snips the tips of the blades
giving in
to a warm inviting sun
bright
orange
yellow
glittering
reflecting.
The enormous brown trunk of the tree
with roots
like hands
or feet
that reach deep beneath the earth
unbending
unmoving.
Encircled around the large round base
children of browns
whites
reds
yellows
stand together hand-in-hand
dancing
swaying
singing.
©Pamela N. Brown
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Drifting
She drifts in silence
From cloud to cloud
The ones around her
Speak not aloud
Her heart is breaking
But no one sees
Her endless sadness
Her heart unfree
His words unspoken
He does not know
A life without him
She needs not show
With all around her
She is but one
And one forgotten
One all alone
She cannot make him
Look in her heart
And though she loves him
Should they soon part
She wants to free him
From ties that bind
She will release him
So he can shine
And far below him
She’ll smile to know
That he is happy
That he shall grow
Without her binding
His life to hers
He can soar free now
Above the earth
And far below him
He shall not see
How much she loved him
To set him free
He will not see tears
Fall from her eyes
He’ll never hear her
Forlorn heart’s cries
He’ll never learn how
It hurts her so
To stand here watching
Him turn to go
Now all alone in
Her clouded mind
She’ll sit here waiting
For all of time
© Pamela N. Brown
October 26, 2010
From cloud to cloud
The ones around her
Speak not aloud
Her heart is breaking
But no one sees
Her endless sadness
Her heart unfree
His words unspoken
He does not know
A life without him
She needs not show
With all around her
She is but one
And one forgotten
One all alone
She cannot make him
Look in her heart
And though she loves him
Should they soon part
She wants to free him
From ties that bind
She will release him
So he can shine
And far below him
She’ll smile to know
That he is happy
That he shall grow
Without her binding
His life to hers
He can soar free now
Above the earth
And far below him
He shall not see
How much she loved him
To set him free
He will not see tears
Fall from her eyes
He’ll never hear her
Forlorn heart’s cries
He’ll never learn how
It hurts her so
To stand here watching
Him turn to go
Now all alone in
Her clouded mind
She’ll sit here waiting
For all of time
© Pamela N. Brown
October 26, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
The Woman In Me
Crimson stains on my pillows
The same on my sheets
My eyes were swollen
I could hardly speak
A stab in the heart
Is how I had felt
Down on your knees
You wept as you knelt
You begged and you pleaded
As I turned to the door
For me not to leave
I trust you no more
And never again
A man could I trust
I ached and hungered
As I tried not to lust
One day a real man
Walked right up to me
And said I am the finest
He ever did see
The truest of men
If ever there was
He never does yell,
Hit, scream or cuss
A slave to him
I never will be
Because he sees
The woman in me
pnb 080102
The same on my sheets
My eyes were swollen
I could hardly speak
A stab in the heart
Is how I had felt
Down on your knees
You wept as you knelt
You begged and you pleaded
As I turned to the door
For me not to leave
I trust you no more
And never again
A man could I trust
I ached and hungered
As I tried not to lust
One day a real man
Walked right up to me
And said I am the finest
He ever did see
The truest of men
If ever there was
He never does yell,
Hit, scream or cuss
A slave to him
I never will be
Because he sees
The woman in me
pnb 080102
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
There Was a Rainbow
There was A rainbow today
But I didn’t see it gleam
I didn’t notice reds, greens,
Nor yellows, oranges, and blues
I didn’t gaze at the purplish hues
Nor gold outlining the clouds
Nor did I look at the sun struggling
To break through the grey sky
I didn’t see shimmering beams of light
Reaching to touch the ground
Nor did I feel wind’s breath on my arm
I failed to notice the breezy warmth
Flowing through my long tresses
Nor did I feel it dry my tears.
There was MY rainbow today
But I missed the wondrous sight
Choked out by broken promises
All I saw was the blackened haze
I could only feel the cold hard rain
I no longer saw beauty lying within
My vision obscured by sorrow
My heart slain by venomous utterances
I only beheld crimson streaks on skin
And the scarlet veins framing irises
I only felt coldness without a care
I caught glimpses of disdain, lavender lips,
Arms, legs, hands, and fingertips
I could only watch the fierce figure fall
And I only noticed the blackened soul.
There was THE rainbow today
And I didn’t see it gleam
For a portion of my soul perished
It spilled with the feminine ichor
And in a pool it over ran
I gaped upon the garish scene
Streams flowed between each stone
Absorbed by red clay, soil, and sand
I missed the colors dance through the sky
I missed the sororal comfort and embrace
From frigid spirit, bone, and flesh
Though I coddled her in my arms
I missed THAT rainbow today
For I watched as your vibrant colors faded away.
©Pamela N. Brown
October 18, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Your Final Fight
Darkness stands and darkness falls,
Enveloping your soul.
You try to sleep and shadows creep,
With eyes so dark and cold.
Winds howl and creatures bow,
Before an evil hand.
He slips in with cold thick skin,
He is nor beast nor man.
Lightning strikes and thunder spikes,
Within your opened sense.
Clouds hang low and the thunder rolls.
This fog ever so dense.
Your heart pounds and tension mounds.
He hides behind your door.
The door creaks, a black cat shrieks.
You know not what's in store.
You're terrified and your eyes you hide.
He stands before you now.
His hand held fast upon your breast.
Sweat's dripping from your brow.
Your every wind does now send,
Pulsations to your heart.
And still you lie, you want to cry.
You wish he would soon part.
You lay dead still and have no will,
To rouse you from your bed.
Is this a dream? Should you scream?
Is this all in your head?
A bright light shines, he does pine,
To keep your very soul.
You gasp for air, this is a scare.
You dare not let life go.
Your body shakes, the thunder quakes.
You continue to fight.
His eyes now red, the king of dread.
The light does grow so bright.
The light dims now. He holds a scowl,
Upon his pale white face.
You catch your breath, so near to death.
You stare off into space.
Your life you win. Forget your sin.
You'll never again feel shame.
He turns away, 'tis the break of day.
"Again we'll play this game."
You're safe for now, and you vow,
To take life by the hand.
To play and run, to have some fun;
Before you reach your end.
©Pamela N. Brown 06/14/03
Enveloping your soul.
You try to sleep and shadows creep,
With eyes so dark and cold.
Winds howl and creatures bow,
Before an evil hand.
He slips in with cold thick skin,
He is nor beast nor man.
Lightning strikes and thunder spikes,
Within your opened sense.
Clouds hang low and the thunder rolls.
This fog ever so dense.
Your heart pounds and tension mounds.
He hides behind your door.
The door creaks, a black cat shrieks.
You know not what's in store.
You're terrified and your eyes you hide.
He stands before you now.
His hand held fast upon your breast.
Sweat's dripping from your brow.
Your every wind does now send,
Pulsations to your heart.
And still you lie, you want to cry.
You wish he would soon part.
You lay dead still and have no will,
To rouse you from your bed.
Is this a dream? Should you scream?
Is this all in your head?
A bright light shines, he does pine,
To keep your very soul.
You gasp for air, this is a scare.
You dare not let life go.
Your body shakes, the thunder quakes.
You continue to fight.
His eyes now red, the king of dread.
The light does grow so bright.
The light dims now. He holds a scowl,
Upon his pale white face.
You catch your breath, so near to death.
You stare off into space.
Your life you win. Forget your sin.
You'll never again feel shame.
He turns away, 'tis the break of day.
"Again we'll play this game."
You're safe for now, and you vow,
To take life by the hand.
To play and run, to have some fun;
Before you reach your end.
©Pamela N. Brown 06/14/03
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Marionette
Upon the crystal stage
She will dance and she will sing
As the marionette
Controlled by puppeteer strings.
“Dance little puppet! Dance!”
The puppeteer screams. “Be kind.
Be perfect and pretty!
Be sweet. Lay aside your mind!”
As the curtain closes
And the platform is swept clean
The doll lies listless,
Empty and void of being.
Out of sight and broken
She vanishes to vapor
Floating toward a dream
Silent and lucid, she soars.
Through a crystal window
Lies a beautiful creature,
Happy, strong, and naïve
She envies this heart so pure.
So perfect, so full of life,
In such a kind presence
She glows in glory and
Muddles out an existence.
She’s freed from binding strings
That torture and tear apart.
She is free from violence
Which lashes a bruised heart.
No more crimson stains are
To be found upon her gown
No more bleeding pillows
From tight, swollen lips will drown.
From the east Sol dances
To awaken a new day.
Her fantasy shattered.
Sanctuary gone away.
The stage is quickly set
For yet another dark show.
Strings tightened, deception,
Yet, no one will ever know.
©Pamela N. Brown
August 21, 2008
She will dance and she will sing
As the marionette
Controlled by puppeteer strings.
“Dance little puppet! Dance!”
The puppeteer screams. “Be kind.
Be perfect and pretty!
Be sweet. Lay aside your mind!”
As the curtain closes
And the platform is swept clean
The doll lies listless,
Empty and void of being.
Out of sight and broken
She vanishes to vapor
Floating toward a dream
Silent and lucid, she soars.
Through a crystal window
Lies a beautiful creature,
Happy, strong, and naïve
She envies this heart so pure.
So perfect, so full of life,
In such a kind presence
She glows in glory and
Muddles out an existence.
She’s freed from binding strings
That torture and tear apart.
She is free from violence
Which lashes a bruised heart.
No more crimson stains are
To be found upon her gown
No more bleeding pillows
From tight, swollen lips will drown.
From the east Sol dances
To awaken a new day.
Her fantasy shattered.
Sanctuary gone away.
The stage is quickly set
For yet another dark show.
Strings tightened, deception,
Yet, no one will ever know.
©Pamela N. Brown
August 21, 2008
Friday, December 3, 2010
Blah
BLAH
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BLAH
©PNB 2010
blah bl..blah blah blah
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blah bl...blah blah blah
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BLAH
©PNB 2010
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